Printable Second Date Questions + Follow-Ups

How to use them

What should you talk about on a second date?

Talk about what they care about now, not their résumé, and follow up on what they say. On a second date you already know the basics, so swap facts for stories: what made their week, what they're curious about, what they'd do with a free Saturday. One good follow-up beats five new questions.

That last line has research behind it. In a 2017 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Huang and colleagues at Harvard found that people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were better liked by their conversation partners. In a speed-dating sample, people who asked more follow-ups were more likely to get a yes to a second date (Huang et al., 2017; full text PDF). It was a correlation, not proof, but it's a cheap habit to try.

1
Pick a mix
Choose warm-up, middle and deeper cards below. A second date usually wants mostly the first two.
2
Print and cut
Each card fits a third of a page. Fold one into your wallet or read them before you go and leave them at home.
3
Ask, then follow up
The small line under each question is the follow-up. That's where the real conversation starts.

The follow-up is the question that shows you listened.

The printable

Printable second date questions

All 24 are ours, written for people who have already met once. Every card has a follow-up, and every card is skippable.

Levels

Warm-up Middle Deeper

One design decision: no card asks about exes, money or "what are you looking for". Those are real conversations, but they go better when both of you choose to start them, not when a card does.

In the app

Talk Sparks, plus the plan itself

SecondYes has decks of conversation starters called Talk Sparks, from light warm-ups to deeper questions, and you can skip any card. They sit next to the part that gets you to the date in the first place: offer up to three complete plans in one private link, and they pick one in their browser, with no app or account.

SecondYes home screen asking First date went well? with an Ask Again button — Start after a good first date

SecondYes Ask again screen showing the invitation they will see — See exactly what they'll see

FAQ

Second date question FAQ

Is it weird to bring question cards on a second date?

Only if you treat them like a script. Read them before you go and leave them at home, or bring them openly as a game for a slow moment. Saying "I printed these, want to pull one?" is more charming than pretending.

How many questions should I ask on a second date?

Fewer than you think. Three or four good questions, each followed by a follow-up, can fill an evening. The goal is a conversation, not a questionnaire.

What should you not ask on a second date?

Skip anything that sounds like a background check: exes in detail, salary, or where this is going. Those conversations come later and go better when both people bring them up.

Fair warning

Who should pick something else

You're looking for matches. SecondYes is not a dating app: no profiles, no matching, no strangers. It's for people who've already met.
You only want questions. This printable is all you need. Talk Sparks is a small part of an app built around planning the date.
You're on Android. SecondYes runs on iPhone and iPad.

Honest limit: no question list makes two people click. If the conversation keeps stalling, that's information too.

A tiny story

The card that ran out the clock

Picture a second date at a noodle bar. Twenty minutes in, it's going fine but flat. One of them pulls a folded card from a jacket pocket, laughs, and reads it: "What's something you're weirdly good at?"

"Parallel parking," says the other. The follow-up on the card is "Who taught you?", and the answer is a twenty-minute story about a grandfather, a pickup truck and a very small town. They close the restaurant.

Made up, but built on the one move that matters: the second question.

Get to the second date first.

Three plans, one private invitation, and Talk Sparks for when you're there.

Download free on the App Store · Free on iPhone

What should you talk about on a second date?

Pick a mix

Print and cut

Ask, then follow up